There is no doubt that there is a stubborn child who is difficult to deal with, which disturbs the family and causes them problems. This stubbornness may be a temporary stage or a constant character that becomes over time the child’s personality. The stubborn child is characterized by a strong will, always screaming and grumbling, He rejects what he is asked to ask for perhaps a margin of freedom or independence, and the misconceptions prevalent in dealing with the stubbornness of children, parents resort to violence methods, and may lead to the imposition of verbal or physical punishment of their child, thinking that this could be the case, The realization that this is exactly what makes matters worse, so who Necessary for parents to learn how to deal with their child’s stubborn, and acquire the skills that will enable them to deal with a good temperament bad children.
What distinguishes a stubborn child
- Often the stubborn child loves control and wants to control his life more than other children, even if this control led to harm or harm.
- A stubborn child has the intelligence and intelligence to understand social attitudes and exploit them in his favor. He makes comments or remarks to move in front of him as he wants.
- A stubborn child is not like other children affected by temptations, nor can he easily be threatened because he realizes that what is being threatened is unattainable.
- A stubborn child is satisfied or improved when a person is angry, provoked, and driven to lose his temper. The big person seems to be a game in the hands of this child who can withstand the negative.
- A stubborn child does not see that he plays a role in causing problems, always believes that he is a victim, and often convinces himself that someone else is wrong.
- A stubborn child has the skills he uses to achieve his goals as a continuous crying loudly, or to notify his parents of guilt.
Forms of obstinacy in children
- Intransigence of determination and will: This form of stubbornness appears when the child tries to repeat a particular attempt, such as repairing a game. If it fails, it is quick to try again, and here it must be supported and encouraged.
- Unconscious obstinacy: The child’s insistence on something, regardless of the consequences or circumstances, such as his insistence to go out to play while the rain is raging, or his desire to continue watching television despite his mother’s attempt to convince him to go to sleep.
- Intransigence with self: Sometimes the child may resort to self-restraint as well as to others. For example, a child may be hungry but torment himself and refuse to eat even if his mother persists. He feels that he is starving himself.
- Perseverance as a behavioral disorder: The stubbornness of the child may be used to quarrel and oppose others.
- Physiological obstinacy: The child can show the appearance of passive stubbornness as a result of some organic brain injuries such as some types of mental retardation.
Causes of stubbornness in children
- The continuous interference of the parents with the child, talking with him in a dry tone, and working to restrict his movement, or prevent him and what he wants.
- Forcing parents to adopt a particular system in their lives, cruelty or restriction of their behavior can lead to child rebelliousness and push them into stubbornness. Excessive flexibility in dealing with the child and over-indulging him or her in many things can result in the child becoming stubborn if Which faced some obstacles in this case.
- A child’s sense of helplessness when faced with trauma, or chronic disabilities may lead him to take a stubborn way to overcome this feeling.
- A child’s lack of confidence in his / her family environment may lead to rejection and stubbornness.
- The child turns to express his psychological contract by stubbornness as if a new child came to the family and took care and attention.
- Imitating a child to his parents when they pretend that their child is doing something without giving reasons, which leads him to imitate and imitate them.
- To meet the wishes and demands of the child as a result of his support, supports this status to him, and the child takes the means to achieve his wishes.
- Forcing parents to do certain things that may sometimes be contrary to reality shows obstinacy as a reaction to patriarchal oppression, such as forcing the mother to wear a coat during play, which hampers his movement and may prevent him from winning.
- Infertility may appear in the child as a reaction to excessive dependence on the mother or nanny.
How to deal with stubborn child
It is necessary to know the skills of dealing with the stubborn child to help him get rid of his stubbornness. These skills require the following steps:
- To compliment the child and show appreciation and admiration for his behavior, and his good habits, this helps to reassure the child and his knowledge of safety, which leads him to diminish his stubbornness.
- Dealing with the stubborn child at the same time, dealing with him nervously may force the child to insist on his position and persist in his stubbornness, so parents should be as calm as possible in dealing with their child.
- Failure to meet all the demands that the child requests, because this will make him feel that what he requests as orders must be implemented, parents can ignore some of the demands that are not essential.
- Parents discuss their child as a large conscious human being, and work to clarify the negative consequences of their intimacy, as discussion and dialogue are of great importance in understanding with the stubborn child, and this discussion can lead to positive results.
- To use emotion when dealing with a stubborn child, as if his mother says to him, “If you love me, do this, or if you love me, do not do that.”
- It is possible to deprive him of things he loves if he persists in his stubbornness and stubbornness to realize that what he is doing may cause him punishment or deprivation, and he will stop his behavior.
- Introducing a specific routine in a child’s life can reduce the situations that may lead to a confrontation between the child and his parents, and also help to know what to expect, so it’s good to schedule his meals, sleep showers, even play times or get out of the house.
- It is possible for a mother to allow her child to make some decisions to help him enjoy an area of freedom, for example, to allow him to choose what he wants to watch on television or the type of clothes he wants. Here it has to resolve the matter.
- If the child threw his games on the ground and refused to ask his mother to return them to her place, his mother could turn the situation into a challenge. For example, she would give him a reward, for example, if he returned the games within five minutes. Arrange and execute his mother’s request as soon as possible.
- Parents should avoid placing too many orders on the child at the same time.